just want you to know...

that God really IS faithful--just in case you were having your doubts, lacking in assurance that this is true...it IS true.

As you all know, we have been waiting for a referral since February with little to no news during that time. And two nights ago (on the 25th) around 11:00pm I checked my email as we were heading to bed (like I do every night). There was a letter from Susan, our adoption consultant. I knew that it wasn't a referral because when you get a referral from our agency, they call first and send the file a bit later. But, of course, I opened the email, referral or not. Susan acknowledged our long wait (she was gracious to say that we were weathering it patiently--she's so kind in her exaggeration!), informed us that there are still no babies to refer and then said that she was attaching an informal referral she thought we might want to consider-- informal mainly because it is unlike the description of the referral we were waiting for---But, of course, we opened it...

And inside we discovered two of the sweetest children we have ever seen...a brother and a sister, ages 2 and 1...they had come to the care center at the beginning of May (thus explaining the LONG wait since February)! We were definitely taken aback at first and after reviewing the information and talking for a while, we went to bed--only I woke up at 4 unable to sleep...I prayed and prayed, looked over their file, at their sweet faces, and prayed and prayed. I was in turmoil--on the one hand I was elated and confident that these were our children...on the other hand, I was thinking about all the logistical reasons this would be 'pazzesco'(crazy)...so many thoughts (many trivial) were going through my mind in this chaotic conversation with God...

"But Lord, our car only has one extra seat! and what about how hard it is to make ends meet NOW without dipping into savings each month??" I will provide, I have proven myself so far haven't I? I will provide, I AM Jehovah-Jirah.

"Can we handle older children who have been through, and may remember, pain like we've not ever experienced?" I am the bringer of Joy in the mourning, the great Healer, I AM Jehovah-Rophe.

"Our friends will think we've lost our minds! It might alienate us here." I am with you, I AM Jehovah-Shammah.

"What about all the sickness and critters that come home with older children?" I know your children, I watch over them and you, I truly see you, I AM El Roi.

"What about the baby carrier I bought? and how in the world will we afford to travel ANYWHERE with 5 children under 8?" I will meet your needs, I am sufficient, I AM El Shaddai.

"Lord, Jared and I only have 4 hands, HOW will we even cross the street????" I am with you, I AM Immanuel.

and each time with each worrisome question, the Lord soothed me with Himself. He is so good to me, so faithful to our family. We feel so blessed--overwhelmed, but incredibly blessed.

Jared made the comment with a big grin on his face (after I was feebly asking WHAT God could be thinking in changing the 'plan' like this) that this is so like God to do this--to take a good, God-encouraged plan (adoption) and up the ante (so to speak), stretching us outside of our comfort so that we are completely depending upon Him--because up until now, we had made decisions based on what we felt we could 'handle'...isn't that embarrassing, convicting, and reassuring all at the same time? Well, it was for me at least :-) I think I'm becoming the queen of feeling at LEAST three emotions at one time lately.

So we sent in our official acceptance of the referral and hope to wire the money today as well. We are praying now, not just for our (hopefully) children living in Ethiopia, but for us to receive a court date before the rains so that we can go and get them sooner, rather than later.

I know that it can be frustrating to not get to see pictures, etc. But for legal reasons, we are not allowed to share many details like their names, birthdates, history, and NO identifying pictures until after we pass court and they are legally OURS. So have patience and pray with and for us--the sooner we pass court, the sooner you get more information :-)

Thank you for continuing to walk this journey with us...if you have questions, email me at hebrews1014@gmail.com. I can't promise I can answer them, but I'll do my best!