Monday, September 12, 2011

figuring a way over the obstacles...

So, some of you may have noticed a missing post...yes, there was one post after the 'bonding' are NOT crazy...I deleted it.  Sometimes I get up in the morning, and just write--wherever that may take me...and on that particular morning I was feeling really sorry for myself--thus, a blog of self-pity was born and later, after perusing said blog, I was embarrassed at my wonton whining and decided (encouraged by my husband) to delete it.  There's no need to dwell on the difficult, and when I express it, I should find my 'big girl' voice and speak out of my nose less.

On to bigger and better things...
I'm supposed to be doing my Beth Moore study...I have not started it yet.  My brain is not yet that awake. While I love the writings of Mrs. Moore, I do think I need a certain amount of caffeine before I attempt her in the mornings...
My baby is asleep (after a VERY fitful night) for her morning nap, snoring here beside me, and I hear the clinking of duplos in the playroom so, at the moment, I can post--however briefly, while I finish my coffee.

I have little confidence anymore.  My memory can no longer be trusted--my brain has not stretched as much as my family has this past year so I am forever playing catch-up and missing appointments.  It's rather embarrassing...and humbling.   My headaches have not relented and I am a shell of the mother I would like to be....also humbling and rather deflating.  God is shouting at me that this is a season, meant for growth, but 9 times out of 10, I am curled up in a corner whining.  We are getting new carpet in the house...our last-ditch effort to conquer this allergic reaction I seem to be having.  But it won't be here for a few more's been ordered but, well, if you are a home owner, you know how this goes.

We are also in a state of missing Italy.  We miss our life and ministry there.  We miss the food.  We miss our Italian friends.  We miss the way of life.  and I think, deep down, we miss having those kind of problems, instead of the problems we have been having here.  Our major problems there related to the spiritual oppression and darkness all around us, attacking us...those problems seemed big--and they really were--but they seemed WORTH it.  Right now, here, dealing with these paltry problems seems so, well, NOT.  Of what Kingdom value will new carpet really have?  So this morning I'm chewing on this.

I am going to make this new carpet Kingdom-worthy --even if it kills me (figuratively speaking, I hope).


Post a Comment