Living up to the Name

catching up

2012-02-01T08:47:00.000-06:00

So it's been a long while since I posted last. I took a break from most things blog-related during the Christmas season because I had to reduce my list a little to protect my joy during the crazy. I'm just now recovering from it all. Christmas itself is busy for everyone, but we also sandwiched three birthdays before and after the holidays so it's especially tiring. I love birthdays and I dread birthdays. I love to give gifts and make a big to-do over the loves in my life...but I hate to watch them get older. Elijah turned 9 in January...NINE! Next year I will be in mourning--I'm not sure I will survive entering into the double digits. Judah turned 5--so he and Canaan are 'the same' again. Birthdays...I rather they grow and flourish in my brain, but my heart just wants everything to stay the same. Maybe that's why I love photography? Hmmmm...

So today I was going to post about my most recent chaos: laundry. I've googled and read and researched and pinterested until I can't anymore. My laundry schedule, or rather 'lack thereof' has driven me crazy! There HAD to be a better way. So many women have more children than I and they are calm and collected in this department...how do they do it?? I cannot settle on a plan that works for me. When we were displaced and had to start from ground zero we had the 'opportunity' to purchase some new appliances. We invested in a massive washer and dryer knowing that we would need the large capacity. I hate front loaders so we got one of those top loading washers without the agitator in the center...I really love it and can fit all of the kids jeans from a week of wear into one load--with room for one or two pairs of Jared's. Fabulous. What's the problem? I don't know. I can't figure it out. I have overhauled my plan several times with little improvement...this is my latest attempt...

The break down:
I basically do laundry in three loads-- colors, jeans, and whites (then the bonus sheets and towels every other week...don't judge, we shower before bed) My friends have advised assigning a day to a different person...but each person doesn't fill up a load on their own and I refuse to buy more clothes just for this to work. Here's what I'm trying now: all of the girls' colors on Monday, all of the boys' colors on Tuesday, all of the kids' jeans on Wednesday, all of the whites on Thursday, all of the parents' colors on Friday, all of the parent's jeans with an extra load of towels or sheets depending on what week it is on Saturday and rest on Sunday. Hang all shirts and khakis, fold jeans/shorts...We used to hang everything-- but the kids couldn't work the clothespins for pants and jeans are super easy to fold...we have one dresser for each gender and everyone gets two drawers plus a tupperware drawer for socks and underwear. I sort the clothes into straightened piles and the kids hang them on hangers in the closet. Yesterday, I made closet dividers so that the clothes stay separated as we are all in different sizes--this has been a MAJOR issue. The clothes get mixed up and Canaan goes to school wearing Judah's shirt and Elijah's jeans...a mess! THEN, and I hope this is the key for success, I put 3 under the bed boxes under the bunk bed in each bedroom--one for each child. Inside, I put the size they will be growing INTO...so when Elijah grows OUT of something it goes into Canaan's under the bed box (and, thanks to some great and slightly bigger friends, Elijah has a few things to grow into of his own...)--seasonal things, like shorts and short-sleeves go into sized buckets in the storage room, waiting to be sorted through come warmer weather--but I don't like to think about that.

What is your laundry plan?

I hope this overhaul works for me. I'm afraid this might be one of those areas that will always need tweaking... maybe Elijah can learn to do laundry soon...hmmm, birthdays might not be so bad after all...

P.S. I hate doing white clothes because socks are ridiculous... so if you call me on Thursday, I might be grumpy.

A long awaited birthday

2011-10-27T09:57:00.001-05:00

So when we were in the process (doesn't the adoption process always seem to need italics??) we were introduced to our kids with the traditional email with photos, etc and brief sum up of their stats. "Brother and sister, ages 2 and 1" But as time went on and we kept going through the process we began to suspect that Canaan was a little older than 2, but there was no record of his birth so we were planning to give him a birthdate in February, which would put him turning 4 right after Judah since they were about the same size and developmental stage. It would also mean that we got to celebrate Canaan birthday with him, since their homecoming was planned for December. Then, we got the email that his birthday had to make him 4 right then (and it was already November), so we gave him a birthday in October-- mostly what this meant for us was that we had to prepare Judah that Canaan would be older--by 2 months, but still, older. What this meant for Canaan was that when we picked him up (on Jared's birthday in December) he came home to celebrate Judah's birthday, then Elijah's the next month, then his cousin's, then a slow succession of everyone else's birthdays over the next months until, at long last, on October 20th his birthday finally arrived. Oh how he anticipated his day. He has been excited about it, angry about it, pouty about it, ecstatic about it, confused about it, sad about it, overjoyed, ridiculous, funny...everything he could have been over these last months...and then it arrived!!!

He enjoyed his day. He reveled in it. He was so overwhelmed that he would get really quiet and a little embarrassed when people would congratulate him. He wanted to be the center of attention for almost a year and when it arrived, he didn't know what to do with all the attention...it was pretty cute. I'll give you a lengthy line of pictures to peruse...

One other thing I wanted to say on this topic was the change I've seen in my boy since his birthday. It's not often that we, as parents, can pin point the exact moment of development in our kids. Most of the time it's so gradual. But with Canaan, his birthday released something in him that he was holding on to. I don't know if there was some reservation because he felt that we didn't love him as much as all of his birthday celebrating siblings...or that he harbored some resentment or anger--he never expressed this...but I wonder just the same because, after his birthday, he has been a different child. He is much more expressive with his emotions. When he falls, even just a bump or teeny scratch, he runs to me to tell me and wants me to rub it or kiss it--he never did this before. There are a lot of other little differences that I won't list, but the gist of it all is that I don't know what was loosed in my boy, but I love it. It's progress in a very measurable way. It is showing me that, given time, our children will become convinced that they are ours and we are theirs...it just takes time...and birthdays...

grateful for defiance

2011-10-06T15:11:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about this post for a while and just never have the time to get it written out.

That seems to be common for our life these days. My work piles up on me at lightening speed. Just when I think I've got a handle on it, I turn around and see that while I've been working, the path behind has cluttered up again! And it's not that the children don't help, they do. We teach them to work. But some weeks it just seems that our time has been filled with all work and no play. We can't have THAT! They are awfully messy children as well--they pick up, but they throw things around first. If anyone has great ideas at how to teach the un-cluttering mindset, please share! I have no ideas and I'm afraid they all come by it pretty naturally as their mother is scatterbrained and inconsistent and jumps from task to task setting a terrible example. We have a house FULL of starters and I think Jared is the only finisher among us. Povero Jared!

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. These days, when we give the children lists of tasks we hear a chorus of groans before they get to their chores (if you are Judah you collapse into a whiney heap, but thankfully there is only one Judah :-) ) Normal, right? What is noteworthy about this is that for months after Canaan and Eden came home, they practiced (for the most part) absolute obedience. Not a word of grumbling, but no smile either. Just hopped to the task at hand. Directly and with no discussion. Like robots. The other kids would be arguing a little, complaining a lot, basically expressing whatever opinions they had over the situation--not Canaan and Eden. I noticed the tendency in other things as well. When showering, they didn't wipe their eyes even if shampoo got in them...ever. They just took it, without comment or expression. (so I would, of course, wipe their eyes for them) When I would comb out Eden's hair, not a peep. When they fell, they said nothing. When Canaan got his first shots he didn't make a sound. Nothing. And he had received around six shots. At first I was tempted to pat him on the back for all his 'toughness' but then I saw his eyes. He was almost completely disengaged. He had shut down. Removed himself. And it would take him hours to come back to interacting again. Scary.

As they have progressed, they have loosened up. The last time Canaan got shots (one teeny little shot), he was thrashing and freaking out so much that it was hard for me to hold him. Transformation. Eden whines and cries every time she gets her hair combed out. Amazing. Most times, when I ask them to stop what they are doing to pick up or something like that, they let out a groan. Humorous. Occasionally Eden has even told me 'no' and has a mini two year old fit. And I love it all. I mean, in the moment the groaning is frustrating and opposing what your mother says needs a bit of discipline, but overall, I love it. It means their hearts are softer. It means they trust us so much more. It means they understand that they can express how their child-hearts feel without fear or loss.

If a bit of defiance means that my child is learning to trust that I will love him in spite of his bad choices, bring it on. If she needs to whine about her hair just so she can be reminded that I will take care of her even when it hurts, so be it.

And I pray that this is just a precursor...preparing them and softening them for the day when the greatest and best Love makes their hearts complete. Isn't that a mother's job? What a blessing it is.

figuring a way over the obstacles...

2011-09-12T11:34:00.000-05:00

So, some of you may have noticed a missing post...yes, there was one post after the 'bonding' post...you are NOT crazy...I deleted it. Sometimes I get up in the morning, and just write--wherever that may take me...and on that particular morning I was feeling really sorry for myself--thus, a blog of self-pity was born and later, after perusing said blog, I was embarrassed at my wonton whining and decided (encouraged by my husband) to delete it. There's no need to dwell on the difficult, and when I express it, I should find my 'big girl' voice and speak out of my nose less.

On to bigger and better things...
I'm supposed to be doing my Beth Moore study...I have not started it yet. My brain is not yet that awake. While I love the writings of Mrs. Moore, I do think I need a certain amount of caffeine before I attempt her in the mornings...
My baby is asleep (after a VERY fitful night) for her morning nap, snoring here beside me, and I hear the clinking of duplos in the playroom so, at the moment, I can post--however briefly, while I finish my coffee.

I have little confidence anymore. My memory can no longer be trusted--my brain has not stretched as much as my family has this past year so I am forever playing catch-up and missing appointments. It's rather embarrassing...and humbling. My headaches have not relented and I am a shell of the mother I would like to be....also humbling and rather deflating. God is shouting at me that this is a season, meant for growth, but 9 times out of 10, I am curled up in a corner whining. We are getting new carpet in the house...our last-ditch effort to conquer this allergic reaction I seem to be having. But it won't be here for a few more weeks...it's been ordered but, well, if you are a home owner, you know how this goes.

We are also in a state of missing Italy. We miss our life and ministry there. We miss the food. We miss our Italian friends. We miss the way of life. and I think, deep down, we miss having those kind of problems, instead of the problems we have been having here. Our major problems there related to the spiritual oppression and darkness all around us, attacking us...those problems seemed big--and they really were--but they seemed WORTH it. Right now, here, dealing with these paltry problems seems so, well, NOT. Of what Kingdom value will new carpet really have? So this morning I'm chewing on this.

I am going to make this new carpet Kingdom-worthy --even if it kills me (figuratively speaking, I hope).

bonding...

2011-08-27T08:39:00.004-05:00

Adoption is difficult...have I said that before? It is. It is difficult.

Beautiful.

Painful.

Confusing.

Fulfilling.

Dirty.

Messy.

Gut-wrenching.

Joy-inducing.

As Katie Davis says, "it is the gospel in my living room."

Bonding is one of those things that I never thought about until I was expecting Elijah. During the 9 months I carried him I was plagued by the doubt of a brand new mother...would I be a good mother? Would I mess him up? I read books and I came across this concept of 'bonding'...they said that some people bonded right away with their babies and for some people it took longer. What did THAT mean? Did they mean that I could be taking care of a baby that didn't feel like my own? Was I going to be despondent and depressed after giving birth because I didn't love my baby?? And it seemed like it could be up to fate...a simple dealing of the cards...some people bond, some don't. WHAT?!?!? I freaked out. Then I remembered, I don't believe in fate! God gave me this baby and love comes from GOD...not from nature, not from genetics, not from the air...love comes from God and He will develop it and grow it.

Thankfully, for a brand new mama who was already struggling with confidence, I did not struggle to bond with my baby when he came. I didn't even have to try. It was completely natural and I never thought about bonding again...until my next blessing was put in my arms 2.5 years later and my first thought was, "Who is THAT?"

I had to try a little harder with Iliana. I loved her, without a doubt...but she wasn't as familiar. I held her and babied her and loved on her, just as I had with Elijah and slowly, over the next few weeks, I was hooked. My ah-ha moment...so THAT'S what they meant about bonding...

With both of my bonding examples God filled me with love...I didn't get to watch Him do it with Elijah--it was immediate--so fast that I didn't even realize I had been blessed...but with Iliana, I got to watch Him grow my love for my baby girl. He filled me up with love for her so clearly & measurably that I was able to praise Him for it daily.

Bonding is really just a scientific label for loving. While most of the time we use the word love when we are describing how we feel...it really is an action. Bonding is the action of loving. When I was bonding with Iliana, I would sing to her, hold her, rock her, dress her, feed her, soothe her, bathe her, talk to her... all loving actions that grew love for her in my heart. It is the same with adoption.

One of my very favorite books in the Bible is 1 John. Long before I was a parent, I loved this scripture. It has helped me-- a rather closed, careful person by nature-- to open up and to love others. God has used 1 John 4 especially in my life to teach me. When Jared and I were first starting to date, God used 1 John 4:18 to help me to open up to Jared when I was scared to be vulnerable. 1 John 4:7-12 specifically spoke to all those questions I had in my heart (and from others) while we were going through the adoption process...How can I love a child that is not my own flesh and blood? Can I love them as much?

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God...no one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us...and so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in Him.

I love love love this. It fills me with peace and gives me confidence. God IS love. The love I have for Elijah is not made less because I love Judah...it multiplies...and not because I am some endless fount of love, but because God in me gives me more of Himself.

If I practice love on Canaan and Eden, I love them. My heart grows more connected with them. But I have to actively love them. No, it isn't natural...but it is against my selfish, sinful nature to love ANYone more than myself. The God in me trumps my sin-nature. Oh, how I thank Him for this. Instead of limited, selfish love; I have God-sized, supernatural love to give to my children--ALL of my children.

The practice and process of bonding with my 'homegrown' children all took place when they were babies. It's the same with Canaan and Eden. They are in their 'infant' stage in our family and I bond with them the same way I bonded with Iliana.

I dress them.

Even though they can dress themselves, I frequently help them--not because they need my help but because they need to learn to rely on me.

I talk to them.

And with this, I have to make the conscious effort to make eye contact with them. I don't know why, but my natural tendency while keeping myself guarded is to not make eye contact with people. I have to force myself to look at my kiddos in their eyes when I talk to them and to listen to them with my eyes.

I bathe them.

Yep, I'm their mom. I'm responsible for their messes, bodies included.

I hold them and soothe them.

Canaan's tendency when he came home was to soothe himself. I pretty much had to force myself on him at first when he would hurt himself. He didn't want my sympathy--it didn't help him. Slowly, he grew to accept it and now, he needs me more.

I laugh with them.

Very important. We have fun together. Tickles. Wrestle. Chase. Draw. Dance. Sing.

Fun together.

I share my drink with them.

Weird huh? I have never been a parent who shares my food with my kids. They drink out of their own glasses because I think floaties in my drink are gross ...but with Canaan and Eden, for some reason, the sharing of spit warms my heart to them. Kinda like a mark that they are mine. Call me crazy...but it really, really helps.

Bonding. The practice of loving--actively, consciously. And God supports it, enables it, IS it.

Gotta love the real.

the J-man...

2011-08-24T08:26:00.000-05:00

Whenever I'm asked to describe Judah it always takes me a while...don't you know people like that? Those who are SO much that it's hard to succinctly categorize them?

While it can keep me guessing as a momma (because, let's face it, it's easier to organize life when everyone falls into certain "categories")-- I can also see this as one of his greatest strengths. Judah is unique.

He has always been unique...but like the definition of the word, it has taken on many different forms. He started life uniquely as my easiest pregnancy...which, after my experience with Iliana, was relief poured out from my gracious Father...then he glided in to capture the spot of my easiest baby. Judah was SO laid back...a blessing that I needed desperately after the aforementioned Iliana who was difficult in and out of the uterus :-)...and only 15 months his senior.

Laid-back Judah was quiet, funny, happy, and a fabulous eater. Then we uprooted him, took him away from his beloved Papa and moved to Italy. It was a hard enough transition for everyone, but for Judah who also had to potty train, move to a big boy bed, and somewhere in Germany lost his favorite pacifier, the changes struck a more brassy chord. Judah began to develop a rogue defiance...still passive in nature, but with more 'civil disobedience'. If he could entertain others with disobedience, it was worth the consequence...and he still maintains this philosophy...But he is also my child who will notice when I am not feeling well, who won't leave without kissing me goodbye, who loves to lead the family in prayer (and will pray heart-filled prayers for needs around him) and who loves to hold hands.

*I have a point to this post...it's not just emoting on my Judah-boy--stick with me*

We are in a drought. I believe I may have mentioned it a few times. And, at the end of this week, we will have spent a 1/4 of the year in over 100 degree days--and most of those aren't just slightly over 100...most of them are over 110. So, needless to say, it's hot. It's dry. And everything is dying--even the trees. The well has dried up...everything is brown. We fight the discouragement every day. In the midst of this pressing discouragement, God gives us hope-- it doesn't come from my reserves because mine have run out...it comes from Judah. Judah prays faithfully, everyday, for rain...I grew weary long ago--my 4-yr-old leads me in praying for something that seems hopeless...and then there's this:

They are Judah's seeds and the seeds from his sibling's snack, all that he could convince them to save.

He diligently gathered up all these seeds and he's saving them... for when the ground is soft from the rain that he knows is coming.

He's going to plant trees: plum, apple, and cherry trees to replace the ones that are dying.

The faith of my child humbles this cynical momma.

He is unique.

Blessedly steadfast. Unswervingly faithful. Thank you God for Judah.

famine...

2011-08-19T08:13:00.000-05:00

I sit here this morning, praying for my friends on facebook and one of my friends' pages pops up with an article on the famine in Southern Ethiopia and Somalia...then my mom-in-law posts a similar article...then I see someone else's post along the same subject...

I've been aware of the famine for a while now. I've been following, when I can, the desperate situation of these countries but, honestly, I have been WAY too self absorbed to advocate. How shameful it is for me to admit that. Yes, we are in a drought as well--the worst in anyone's memory--but I am currently sitting in a house (albeit moldy, but a home, just the same) with AC, running water, a full refrigerator, and 2 full freezers. My struggles should not consume me.

My Ethiopian children come from the southern portion of the country. We know very little of their background, but we know the vicinity of their biological family's home. We know the church congregation that buried their biological mother. We know the name of the orphanage where they were surrendered and its location...in the south of Ethiopia. When you read the articles on the famine they all mention the regions in the most crisis...Eastern Africa--especially Somalia and Southern Ethiopia.

I try, feebly most of the time, but I try to keep up with news from the areas where their biological family is but news from that region has been scarce. Then I stumbled upon these blogs (and I am sure there are many more like them out there that I do not know about)

http://thebowersinafrica.wordpress.com/

and http://drhail.wordpress.com/

and http://paulandbecca.wordpress.com/

These are all people who live and work in the region of Ethiopia that Canaan and Eden are from. There are links on some of the pages of ways you can help if you feel so lead. As I am at the beginning of my own search, I do not know how to advise you, but we can research together.

I will not post the first pictures I received of my children. My version of child exploitation will be limited to the best of what life is handing them--but these pictures remind me that their lives are a gift that the Father has graciously given me. They would not have survived much longer and they certainly would not have survived this famine. As hard as it must have been to surrender them to the care of another, their biological father saved their lives and I will forever be grateful to him.

I prayed a lot for their family 2 years ago, not knowing their struggle, but knowing that God was telling me to pray for them while we waited for our children to be revealed to us. Now I have my precious children safe within my care and my thoughts are guided to pray again for their first father and for the rest of his family--that aid will come to them in their need. I pray and seek God also for the way I can help. I'll get back to you (probably) as to the direction He leads me. I hope you'll seek God as well for direction in the way that you are to be helping as well.

Here is the article my mom-in-law found:

http://onenewsnow.com/AP/Search/World/Default.aspx?id=1413340

and here's another option:

http://onenewsnow.com/AP/Search/World/Default.aspx?id=1413340

JJ was right...

2011-08-17T20:55:00.000-05:00

I think.

After the CTscan came back normal today, we started checking the house over and found...ugh...black mold. Apparently the house had leaks before and the mold moved in right about when the old owners moved out. Then the house sat vacant for a long time...then we moved in. Yippee.

I have always been allergic to mold but it never presented itself in this way. Well, to be fair, I never lived in a home with this much mold either.

So we are eradicating it...scratch that--JARED is eradicating it. I can't even walk in the bathroom without my eyes tearing up and my face burning. Weird, huh?

We've got the air purifier running and Jared is scrubbing away. I bought tile and grout and other handy tools to help us tile the floor after the mold is dead. I hope that in a few weeks, the headaches will be a thing of the past as the mold ceases to exist within our home.

If you have any advice, we would gladly accept it :-) We aren't the handiest of people...

my current battle...

2011-08-17T08:46:00.000-05:00

is with this head of mine. The day after my mom left, about 2 weeks after Mercy was born, I started having headaches. Bad ones. Not migraines, I don't think, because I wasn't sensitive to light, etc. But bad enough that I couldn't function normally and would have to take tylenol...then my ear clogged. So I thought, sinus blockage. I heated my face, I steamed, I took Sudafed, I drank loads of water, I took Vitamin C...basically anything anyone recommended, I tried. Not much difference. So I did the Neti pot, and saline wash, etc. Not much difference. Then my eyes began to ooze. In a weird way. So I went to the doctor. Got a steroid shot and drops. Better for about 3 days. Then back to the headaches. Right before vacation it got really bad again and the doctor called in some Flonase. Some improvement, but not consistent. But we went on vacation in the City. I didn't have trouble there in the same way as at home. Some headaches, but not as bad. I don't think I had to take any OTC pain relief the whole time. Then we came home. Headaches again and bad. When I bend over to pick things up, around 11:00 a.m., around 5:00 p.m....I wake up with them...it's just constant and this morning I woke up with a clogged ear again--WHAT?????

I've gone through so many 'theories' : sinus infection, blockage, hypertension, TMJ, spinal misalignment, hormones, could I be allergic to our new house?... who knows??

All this to say, that, this morning, I am heading back to the doctor. It's been 2 months of this and I need some relief. I want to be a good momma. My children and husband need some relief too. It's really just supposed to be our 2 month check-up but we'll be dealing with my head too :-)

So please pray. Pray for discovery of the problem. Pray for relief.

P.S. Due to the complain-y nature of this post, I feel I should apologize to anyone who just stopped by to check in on the kids...they are great...loving school and daily praying that their momma's headaches go away so we can get back to normal once more. Sorry. :-)

when momma doesn't know what to say...

2011-08-16T07:28:00.000-05:00

This morning, as I was waiting with my kiddos outside on the porch for the bus, we were talking about making friends. I was giving them the assignment to look around their classroom and see if there was anyone who did not have a friend. Their job today would be to try and include that person with THEIR friends, etc. I thought it sounded great. But, like with so many things with parenting, I got thrown off course.

One thing about adopting older children internationally is the time it takes to be able to understand one another. Canaan is doing phenomenally, but there are still many things he does not understand and his vocabulary is still very limited. Sometimes, when he doesn't understand what is being discussed, he won't SAY he doesn't understand. He'll sit there and LOOK like he understands (oh how I can identify with this tactic--this is how I LIVED in Italy...) but then when he opens his mouth to chime in, he will be speaking of unrelated things, showing that his mind was engaged elsewhere. Anyway, back to this morning. We were discussing the concept of making new friends and Canaan chimes in with "I wish we could BUY the teacher." Emphasis on buy. I stopped, completely thrown off. I tried to quickly search the thesaurus in my mind to figure out what he 'meant' because oftentimes, he cannot express what he really means the first time without guidance. But in this case, I was stumped. BUY a teacher? I remembered that just a few days before when he was leaving school I asked him if he had made any new friends and he had told me that he had "wanted to BUY Tristan but didn't." I didn't stop then to figure it all out--but here it was again this morning!

I expressed my confusion. I explained that we BUY food, we BUY clothes, we BUY things at the store, but we do NOT buy people. Then Iliana sweetly chimed in matter-of-factly that he was saying (because my children are my key translators) that he wanted to buy his teacher just like we bought HIM. *GASP* This was one of those moments that I didn't have words...all I could do was pray...pray for words, pray for wisdom, and pray that my face wasn't betraying the shiver that went down my spine. Did my son really think that he was a commodity that could be bought??? Where had we gone wrong in discussing his adoption with him???

In the few seconds of silence (because in times you would like for things to keep upbeat and natural to relax the situation, there is ALWAYS desperate, uncomfortable silence from ALL of the kids...), I composed my words and did my best. The bus was going to be there any minute (another ridiculous irony in parenting...needing time and never having it in the most important situations but having LOADS of time to teach underarm farting...) so I tried to be succinct..."Canaan, God GAVE you to Momma and Daddy just like God gave Judah and Iliana and Elijah and Eden and Mercy to us." and because I'm fallible, I then asked who he had heard that from and of course, he couldn't answer (when he senses things are more serious and he is confused he shuts down...under pressure you just CAN'T get the words out in another language)...and then the bus came. ARG!!!!!!! I had to send my precious child to school with SO many unsaid things!!! I was/am so frustrated!

So many things run through my mind...Did he hear that in Ethiopia? Did they tell him that the Americans were buying the Ethiopian children? What else did he learn about his adoption outside of my home? WHY wasn't I more vigilant in this?? I absolutely saw God's hand in giving us the money to pay for the adoption of Canaan and Eden. In all honesty, He even gave most of it back through the tax credit so we actually 'paid' more for our three bio kids that we delivered in a hospital without insurance!! HOW do I explain this to my child?? How do I explain that the love that I have for him is equal to my love for my children that look more like me? How do I show him that love can ONLY come from God...it can't be bought?? How do I show him his worth in the eyes of his heavenly Father?

It pains me to remember, long before God opened the doors for our adoption, I was joking with friends who had all of one gender in their family--I told them that they needed to BUY the other gender, it's the only way to be sure to get a mix of genders... The words were innocently said-- It was my way of introducing the possibility of adoption in a light hearted way to people who were not considering it. I thought it was fine...even ADVOCATING for adoption... But hearing the concept from the mouth of my gift from Ethiopia was absolutely mortifying.

So now, if you will excuse me, I must go and eat crow before my Father. I know HE will know what to tell Canaan this afternoon...

potty training...a post in progress

2011-08-15T15:16:00.000-05:00

So, it's that time again. The dreaded potty training. It comes with having children and unless you don't mind changing adult diapers with adult sized poo in them, you just have to bite the bullet and go through it. Eden is, for all intents and purposes, two. She understands what her diaper is, she understands what the potty is for, she understands what her body does...so it's time to start potty training full time. Eden came home from Ethiopia basically knowing what to do. They would put the teeny kiddos onto potties at the same time every day and they would train them to go at that certain time... because of this she was super easy to train to poo on the pot...it's the other stuff that's the problem.

So we have begun the pee parade and she's sporting her big girl panties. Since Thursday she has peed in them twice and once I forgot to change her out of her nap diaper--so that day was a wash. It's been 4 days and today, we went out WITHOUT a diaper on. I'm happy to say, that she stayed dry until I put her down for nap...pretty amazing :-D!!!

It's the little things :-)

beginnings...

2011-08-15T08:35:00.000-05:00

I have the chance this morning...everyone is happy and/or snoozing still, so I will post on the first day of school...I've shared on facebook already, so those who connect with me there will find this repetitive...sorry.

Shoes on...check

coffee...check

pants...check

Take the tags off the extremely colorful shirt you chose for the first day...check

friendly, honest, eager smile...check

sideways debonair grin...check

Good attitude...check

special expensive sugary cereal that you never get except on VERY unique occasions...check

Motleys, ARE YOU READY TO TAKE OVER THE SCHOOL?????

check.

social networking....

2011-08-15T08:02:00.000-05:00

So I put my children on the bus and kissed my husband goodbye...pressed my ear to two bedroom doors to ensure that my youngest two were still snoozing and sat down at the computer to pray for my friends and family. For a while now I've had a love/hate relationship with facebook. I hate its addictive nature and the cattiness that can be displayed by loose tongues and hurtful spirits--but I love the way that I am connected with my friends all over the world, just in one place!!

Most mornings, I sit with my coffee and scroll down my news feed and pray for those who God brings up--then I pray a little more and visit a few pages of different people to check in on those I've prayed for the day before, etc. It's been a way for me to organize my praying...I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the people I want to pray for and my desire to be faithful to hold the ropes for them all. This can become such a burden of guilt when time doesn't allow for a good long prayer session. Life doesn't stop, even when I desire to spend time focusing on Kingdom things, like praying for my missionary friends...or when I want to do less-important things like just now, I'm having to stop typing because my youngest is crying--she's lost her pacifier--be right back...

Anyway, facebook has helped me stay connected and feel like God is in control of who I intercede for throughout the day. I love that. When we were at training in VA we had a day that we spent hours in solitude, seeking the Lord and after the allotted time we all gathered back together to share what God had said. One of the guys said that he started his time by putting his iPod on shuffle because then he felt like he was giving God the reigns to control the songs that came up and guide his time of prayer through song...I like that. That's kinda how I feel about facebook--God brings friends to mind, and I pray...it's freeing, really. So if I 'like' your status or comment, you can be pretty sure that you were being prayed for that morning :-)

Just another way God reminds me that though I live IN the world, I am not OF the world...

All-in-all, I'm thankful for a medium such as facebook :-)

Tripping with 8

2011-08-01T07:56:00.000-05:00

So we are gearing up for a short vacation. The first real vacation since the end of AGM last year when our family stayed over in Madrid after the meetings to see the city. Our trip to Ethiopia, while technically vacation TIME was anything BUT vacationy--and then we all know what the Christmas vacation ended up being...

So all that to say, we are going on vacation. Nowhere flashy, goodness knows we don't have the funds yet for flashy--it's just to the City...somewhere that you don't have to drive 40 minutes to get to a fast food restaurant...somewhere with a zoo and science museum...a place with a TARGET...a hotel with a POOL...so, this year, we'll settle for comfortable.

The children are super excited...even my sweet ethiopian babies are excited and they have NO idea what a vacation IS...but excitement is catching, and they've caught it! (Although, you should hear Canaan trying to understand the concept of a zoo...it's hilarious and well, a little convicting...)

Jared and I have done our research. We plant our family in the neighborhood of the City that is closest to our favorite shopping, favorite food, and our favorite people. The sweet lady on the phone at the hotel offered us a discounted rate even though we didn't have a AAA card and we are still under 65. We also know which fast food is cheapest for our family...we can eat at Taco Bell for about $13...we'll be having a lot of burritos (we are VERY thankful for the $1 five-layer burrito!!) -- PLUS, McDonalds has the 20 piece nuggets for $5 deal going on so we can get through there for about $16...not too shabby. All this saving enables us to take a break from fast food and catch a lunch meal at the Olive Garden or something like that...it evens out.

This will be our first vacation as 8. We'll all be 'learners'. It will also be 110 in the City this week...yippee. I mean, it's been 112 in our town the past 3 weeks, but I was hoping for the cooler 101 degree weather of the City while we were there...no such luck. So we will be hitting the zoo as soon as it opens and probably last no longer than a few hours...I'm sure all will be ready to go back to the hotel pool soon enough. I've got to remember to pack the sunscreen...

We are hoping that this week is our last dry week...we've been praying for rain for so long. Last week it rained for about 10 minutes. Just long enough to make Jared, who had just started mowing the lawn, run inside. My children run outside to play in whatever God chooses to send us...but it's WAY more fun in the rain than in 120 degree temps...

We've added to our number!

2011-07-23T09:17:00.000-05:00

Our sweet little girl was born in the afternoon on June 8th.

This also happened to be the 6 month anniversary of the day that we received Canaan and Eden into our family FOREVER! I'm afraid the celebration was rather different than I expected, but we'll make up for it on December 8th!

Now, we are a family of 8. I've always loved the number 8...I'm not sure why----it's just always been my favorite. I like even numbers--there's no odd-man-out, and, well, it's just nice and round!

Apparently eight really is enough...and, judging from the stares we get in public, we are a true spectacle, at least in Southwest Oklahoma.

I have yet to try Walmart with everyone, by myself. I know, I'm a sissy. But I'm not raring to go out this time around like I was with the first three. I think I have a deeper desire for my housework to be tackled than to satisfy my need to get out of the house (on the other hand, the main factor could be the AMOUNT of housework I now have). Also, the thought of trying to navigate WalMart with 6 kiddos and then squeezing all that our family needs to get through the weeks between WalMart trips into one cart, seems rather daunting to me at the moment. I'll get there, I just need some time.

Time is something I run out of very quickly these days...almost as quickly as I go through detergent. There never seems to be enough of it. I always go to bed with things left undone----this is something new for me. Not that I was always on top of things before...I've never had very high standards...but even with my relatively low standards for the state of our home, I go to bed with things left undone. Right now I'm struggling under the 150 boxes that landed on our home 2 weeks ago (oh my, has it really been 2 weeks??). The boxes held our memories, our valuables, our mundane, and our trash----sorting it all out is taking a lot longer than I thought it would.

It's weird, but I find myself correlating our transition moving back to the States with how it felt to move to Italy. They are surprisingly similar:

I'm learning new ways to cook.
Cooking for 5 children means cooking more...in normal cases adding two children under 4 wouldn't mean adding two adult sized portions...but we are talking about Canaan and Eden a.k.a. 'the little vacuums'. During our time in Italy I felt like I really grew in my abilities in the kitchen having to learn to make MANY things from scratch...here, the ingredients are different...FLOUR is even a different consistency, and I have to rework all of my staple meals into 'American.' Plus, making things from scratch is cheaper than most ready-made options that I used before moving overseas and learning to fend for myself...so I'm still trying to pinch pennies and make good, easy meals at the same time. This is one country where 'eat like the locals' is NOT the way to save money in the kitchen.

I'm figuring out how to get from here to there.
Traveling in a car with every seat taken by a carseat, getting the kids to learn the order in which they should load and unload so as to avoid Stooge-like jam-ups inside and outside the car, driving a boat compared to other cars----all these things trigger a need for a new strategy and are not unlike our transition to driving in Italy...also, packing to board the metro is not unlike packing for a trip to WalMart, or worse, to a store with no shopping cart to hold kiddos like Penneys or a *gasp* furniture store...

I'm learning a new language and watching my kids do the same.
The language of my english-learning kids, the langage of southwest oklahoma slang, and even the language of pop culture has changed in this transition.

I'm still watching my children for signs of cultural stress.
They are adjusting well, but I still need to be vigilant to protect them from our tendency to do too much too soon.

I'm figuring out how to arrange our home out of nothing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I miss having IKEA nearby...their space saving options were so helpful...and while our home here is considerably larger than our apartment in Rome, we are still attempting to squeeze 3 children in each bedroom...I miss IKEA.

We are battling new illnesses, encountering new germs.
Ringworm, how we hate you.

I have to figure out how to clean the floors again.
In Italy it was learning to sweep and mop marble floors efficiently---- in Oklahoma my mopping skills come in handy, but there's also a ton of vacuuming...carpet care is TERRIBLE. Carpet is nice on tootsies in the cold winter compared to marble, but I find myself dreaming of a happy medium, like wood.

I run out of things I never ran out of before...
in Italy it was baking powder and baking soda---- in America, it's laundry detergent, toothpaste, and shampoo.

Life is a hodgepodge at the moment--a big, beautiful mess. We are so thankful for the way the Lord is providing here in America. He has been so very faithful. We cling to Him with every new 'hard'.

When you are an inept blogger...

2011-04-26T09:38:00.000-05:00

...I find that it is desperately hard to start again.

We have had so much happen in the last 5 months and hardly any of it has been documented...where do you start? Do you go back to 5 months ago and hope to rehash? or can you just move on and start fresh from where you are at the moment?

Knowing that I'll probably go all defunct again very soon, it'll probably be best to just start from here and see what happens.

Just know that in the major 5 month gap, we've lived...chaotically, unconventionally, and barely holding it together at times...but we've lived.

About 5 months ago we gathered our children up from Ethiopia and came back to the States to meet and greet and celebrate Christmas. 3 months after we touched down, we found ourselves unable to return to Italy...and then my camera battery died (the charger being in Italy with my other lenses, video camera, extra memory cards, camera cord for the computer, and card reader--all left behind in the frenzy to pack up the 5, pack for the 2, close up the apartment, and skidaddle to Addis with 3 days notice)

But now, thanks to my mom who knows how terrible this loss of camera use really can be for my general well-being, I have a battery charger once again and after borrowing my mom-in-law's camera cord, I can share pictures with you fine people once more. Much better than just words... much better than a post relying on my ability to piece thoughts together coherently for those of you NOT privy to the inner workings of my indecipherable thought process...which lends itself much more toward james joyce-ness all the time.

So enough of this...the children are outside playing, screaming, riding their trikes like crazy--they spend the majority of their time in this way these days. Hope the neighbors don't mind. I don't normally regulate their noise level when they are outside I had to do that in Italy, I don't want to do that here if I don't have to ...it's when they get quiet that I have to worry. In the meantime, I have the extremely noisy dishwasher running, a load of laundry in the washer and a mountain waiting to be gathered up by their owners and put in the appropriate closets and suitcases (because, alas, we are still living somewhat from suitcases having no furniture in the boys and our room yet)... all that this all means is that there is time, however brief, to share a few pictures.

I'm sure someone will be running in to tattle on their sibling in about 2 minutes. But I'm trying the new tactic of 'work it out yourself'...shocks them every time still. I think they think I'm truly lazy, when in reality I'm learning that it gives them a chance to see that the offense really wasn't as bad as they first thought--they are going to live, they have words they can use directed toward the other person, and if you give a problem 2 minutes to rest, you most likely will end up thinking about something else.
Not to mention that if momma has to get involved that fought over toy will go into an indefinite time out and one of the offenders (if not both) will end up enduring a rather lengthy sit in a boring corner of the house. I'm pretty consistent with the consequences and so far, tattling is less frequent.

So, none of this is illustratable yet--so I'll just stop and start posting the pics...a plethora from the last couple of weeks. Elijah's class at school reenacting the Land Run, Judah and Iliana at church on Easter Sunday helping their teacher tell the story of Holy Week through Resurrection Eggs, my attempt to get Easter pictures of the family...good stuff. And if you follow me on facebook this is a colossal waste of your time...sorry.

Adoption changes everything...

2011-03-26T09:10:00.001-05:00

Adoption is hard.

This is a little of what I have been learning in the last 3 months since bringing Canaan and Eden home...

It is also really good. Challenging. Full. Amazing.

We are still working on our initial bonding issues...tough stuff. More on that later probably.

On top of the challenges of adoption, our family has gone through so much bureaucratic hokey, misinformation from those supposedly in-the-know, and a whole slew of bad advice to last us for a LONG time. So, on top of the transitions that come with adoption, we have also been displaced from our home in Italy and relocated back to the States...for good.

In a nutshell, we cannot get the documents that Italy wants to grant our children long term visas, making our living in Rome (and probably any other country besides the US) no longer possible. The Italian-Ethiopian embassy will not translate the necessary documents into italian because we are not italian citizens and we are no longer in country (Addis) to plead our case. We did not know of these requirements before we left Rome. When we came back to the States, we tried to line up documentation as best we could, but roadblocks always appeared. As the months passed, we could not rely on our company to support us any longer during a wait that was indefinite, and they do not grant transfers to those in their first term (not that any country would most likely take us) so we made the difficult, but very clear decision to resign.

I could tell our story with bitterness, blaming individuals for their bad advice and attitudes that seemingly lead to where we are right now--but that would be unfair and untrue...the fact of the matter is, God was, and continues to be, guiding all of our circumstances, bringing us to the place where He wants us to be. It is His 'fault' that all this has happened. And THIS is where our peace comes from. He is showing Himself faithful to our family and we are blessed.

We are blessed to be together as family. Together with Canaan and Eden.

We prayed and waited for so long to be here, at this point, that we can't dwell on everything that we've lost. We have to focus on all that we have been blessed with. Our children are all healthy and happy. They are all getting used to this new family amazingly well. Canaan and Eden are growing and blossoming...they look healthier since we first brought them home...they've each gained almost 10 pounds and a couple of inches each and Eden is about to celebrate her 2nd birthday on Saturday!!

God has provided a car, a job, and hopefully this week we will close on a house for our family. Then we, along with our suitcases of things, can move in! We hope that our things in Rome will be crated and sent to us soon--we have many things for Canaan and Eden there, along with all of our supplies and things we'd been saving up for the baby coming in June. We've transitioned this far...it will be interesting to see how things change as we move from living with grandparents to living on our own. We'll have a whole new bunch of changes to sort through :-)

I know this is a little scattered...I'm not very good with words at the moment...I'll stop trying to type and just close with a few pictures...

Everything is set!

2010-12-04T10:24:00.001-06:00

We leave Monday night late...well, technically Tuesday morning in the wee sma's. We'll get into Addis around 7:30 in the morning on Tuesday. We'll get Canaan and Eden around lunch time probably and spend the rest of the day settling in and getting to know one another...for GOOD!!!! We'll go to the Embassy on Wednesday morning and I have no idea how long that will last. Then we'll chill out on Thursday and Friday during the day...maybe do a little more shopping or just hang out around the guest house and play and maybe watch Christmas movies...then Friday evening we'll head to the airport for our overnight flight to Frankfurt (8 hrs or so?) and then we'll layover in Frankfurt for a couple of hours, eat, and get on our flight to DFW (11hours--bleck!). We'll be in Dallas around 2:30 on Saturday afternoon.

It's nice that we're going to airports that we are rather familiar with...we've flow in and out of Addis before, and Frankfurt several times, as well as DFW...so that might help us navigate a little better? Here's hoping!

Our family is going to meet us at DFW with a big van (thank you to our home church, First Baptist Hollis, for the loan!!) and we'll make the 4.5 hour haul from Dallas to Hollis!!! Then...we'll be home!!

Monday, the 13th, we start running the gauntlet of doctors, dentists, optometrists, and beauticians...that last is for me :-)

We'll also be trying to work on our legal documents...getting C and E's passports expedited, social security cards ordered, etc. Then we'll start with Italian immigration to get them their long term visas for Italy...we'll probably have to make a trip to Houston again to the Italian embassy--bleck! But hopefully all will work out before we have to catch our return flight home to Rome on January 10th!

Anyway, that's a rundown...I hope I will keep up with the blog during this trip...but you all know that might not be the case.

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers...if you are around Hollis we would love to try and see you at some point, but we will also have to be very attentive to Canaan and Eden's needs in all of this. We cannot overwhelm them with visitors and too much at once. We will probably keep them away from large crowds...which will include church services, I'm afraid. If we do come to church (probably not, but IF) we will slip in the back late and probably slip out early. It's not that we don't want to introduce them...we just have to be careful. We will be home-bodies at James and Jana's house as much as we can be. But hear us when we say that we WANT to see people...we just have to be careful and it would help us to have notice if you are wanting to come out and visit...just a small heads-up, that's all! Thanks guys!!!

We are so excited that our adoption process is winding down and our journey with OUR children will finally be beginning!!!!

Continue to pray for us as we travel. We will need a lot of endurance and good health and patience. Please pray for us all.

We love you guys!!!

Tickets...maybe

2010-12-03T02:52:00.000-06:00

Well, this has been wild! We were working with one travel agency that had a lot of trouble understanding what we were trying to do and then they were unable to book tickets for our Ethi kids because we didn't have any passport info for them...even though EVERY family that adopts out of Ethiopia doesn't have that info upfront...but whatever. We switched to another agency and started working with them...SOOO much better! They are very knowledgeable and within an hour we had reservations made for all of us on all of our flights--together! I'm so glad because I didn't want to have to separate the family on such long flights! Instead of flying into OKC, we'll be heading for DFW...it was considerably cheaper to fly in and out of DFW...so our trip back to Hollis will be longer, but we saved about $400/person so that makes up for it!

We have no yet paid for our tickets...we're waiting for confirmation from our adoption agency (IAG) head on our flight time to make sure they work with our Embassy schedule before we solidify everything. But we have reservations!!

I joked today on facebook about how our kids won't be going to college now, but we'll all be coming home for Christmas...it's VERY expensive to do this. But the money is there and we believe that God had provided this money for this purpose and He will continue to provide for our family in the future. It's scary to deplete your savings on faith...but He'll prove Himself over and over to us...I KNOW it!

Please continue to pray for us as we scramble to get the kids' schools notified of their extended absence and all the luggage gathered and packed.

Pray for our kids as they enter an extremely chaotic time with LOTS of new things.

We've never taken back-to-back long flights before and we need all the prayer you can sacrifice for patience and endurance!

We'll let you know of more particulars later hopefully.

Thank you for standing beside us in all this!!

WE'RE CLEARED TO TRAVEL!!!

2010-12-02T06:49:00.000-06:00

That's right! We JUST received word that we can appear at the Embassy in Addis on the 8th! That's 4 days before we need to be on the ground in Addis! WHAT?!?!?

So this is brief but I HAD to gather as much prayer as I possibly could.

We are desperately searching for flights...we have a travel agent working on it with us. We are praying that we can all fly together, even if we can't all sit together, and that we can AFFORD what these last minute tickets will cost! We are flying with 5 from Rome to Addis, then with 7 from Addis to Oklahoma City (or Dallas).

PLEASE PRAY that the details work out. Pray that God shows His sovereignty in a MIGHTY way through all of this...because we all know that there is NO way something of this magnitude will work out without the direction of the Lord!!

We will let you know what we find out!!

I feel a name change coming on...

2010-12-01T13:00:00.000-06:00

Not for anyone in particular...but for the blog. I feel like the name of this blog would be more appropriately named "Motleys Wait" Because that is the basic definition of our adoption process. It is what takes up the most of our timeline...the waiting. We've been waiting to hear of an Embassy date since, basically, Oct. 12th. Our friends who appeared alongside us in court received their confirmation to travel two days ago (giving them only 7 days to get everything bought, tickets and everything, before they had to be in Addis at the Embassy)...we are still waiting to hear the Embassy's decision on our case. No, we have no idea what the hold up is. They are still working on it, I guess. We'll see.

So I know it's not exciting for anyone--but such is our adoption process...and I'd even venture to say that this is pretty common in many adoptions. It is not about instant gratification for most.

So please continue to pray for a decision to be made. For our hearts to be peaceful with whatever that decision is. and for all the details to fall into place in God's timing.

Also, just to throw this in, I am still really dealing with this pregnancy sickness stuff. It's terrible. I REALLY would love relief from it soon. Please pray for me as well.

We appreciate you all!!

our last step...

2010-11-28T05:04:00.000-06:00

So we are still waiting. This should technically be the last leg of waiting for our family. It has been a difficult one. Much more difficult than I anticipated when we started it. I honestly thought that the fact that we had FINALLY met our kiddos coupled with the fact that this was our last long wait would be enough to help me endure the wait with patience and a great attitude...that worked for the first month. Now, it's the end of November. Our travel dates over Thanksgiving have passed and we wait to see if we made the Dec 8th Embassy appointment. Our papers have been filed, we are only waiting for the offices to look over our case and decide if we have all the necessary papers to be eligible for an appointment on the 8th. If they decide we need more documentation, then they will table us until we get the necessary paperwork filed...and we will hopefully get the Dec. 22nd Embassy date.

So that's the waiting update.

We need to hear from the Embassy this week. I would LOVE to hear from them on Monday. If we are granted the Dec. 8th appointment, that would give us a week to finalize travel plans and buy tickets and square things away here in Rome before we leave for a month. One week doesn't give us much time for that either, but it's more than a couple of days! We'll have a lot more details to work out for this trip because...we are thinking that for this trip, we will be taking the whole family to Addis, and then go straight from Addis to the States. We are considering this for a number of reasons. First, we have gotten little to no assurance that Italy will grant our Ethiopian children a tourist visa--and even if we manage to get one, there's still a chance that they will be turned away in Rome. Second, our childcare made other plans and we would have to scramble to get others to fill in, disrupting many lives at the last minute. Third, it would be really great for the whole family to be together when Canaan and Eden join us for good. Who knows if we can make it work out? Well, that's a silly statement, God knows, but you know what I meant...it is going to take a mighty work of the Lord to make all the details and the money come together for this--in one week. But we are hopeful. We serve a mighty God.

In other news, I'm still pregnant :-) I go in for my first doctor appointment on Tuesday morning. I've never met this doctor, but I have a friend that uses him and really likes him, so I am hopeful. It will be nice to see how things are going, to get a better estimate on how far along we are (9weeks? 10 weeks? 11 weeks?)...and I think I might even get an ultrasound so we'll be able to see the baby :-)

Please continue to pray for our family. There's a lot we may be facing this week. Pray for the details to come together in amazing ways that richly display the hand of God. Pray for my doctor's appointment: that all is well & baby and momma are healthy. Pray that we receive the Embassy appointment that God wants us to have.

Thank you for holding the ropes for us. We love you.

Changes Changes Everywhere...

2010-11-15T12:06:00.000-06:00

So now the Embassy has decided that Eyerusalem's name should be spelled "Yerusalem" So we had to do all our documents again. Yipee! :-P Hopefully we'll still be up for the December 8th Embassy date...PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!!

when my husband shares his heart...

2010-11-07T12:37:00.000-06:00

it blesses me so much.

I hope it will bless you too.

http://thestumblingseeker.blogspot.com/2010/11/but-tension-is-to-be-loved.html

slowly but surely...

2010-11-05T12:27:00.001-05:00

We are still waiting for news of our secure Embassy appointment. The passports should be ready by Monday, and the medical exams need to be completed and other things finalized then they will review our file and assign us an Embassy appointment...we narrowed it down to either the day before Thanksgiving (Nov. 24th...how fitting!) or December 8th.(the day before Jared's 32nd birthday!)

Sorry to not keep you updated, but I've been a bit under the weather...downright puny...and it probably won't lift for a few more weeks...because, well...we found out that, surprisingly enough, we are expecting our SIXTH child...sometime in June maybe? I don't know...I haven't been to a doctor yet. The english-speaking ob/gyn everyone goes to here is now moving to Thailand, so I'm stuck at the moment. I've done this before though and everything seems to be progressing normally so I'm not concerned. I'll get to a doctor soon enough ;-)

The trouble is, that this time I have HORRIBLE "progesterone poisoning" (as my favorite prego guidebook calls it). All day I am nauseous and all evening I'm gurping...I'm really hoping for some relief soon! It's taking a toll on the family--not mention me! So please pray for me in this...pray that my sickness will lift by the time I need to be strong to go to Addis for our kiddos!

Oh and I must say that this whole "there's not an actual birthdate for your child because nobody keeps track in Ethi" really bites. In just 2 weeks our little boy in Addis has gone from being 2 to 3 to now, 4! We've changed his birthdate 3 times according to what doctors in Addis are saying. Having spent time with him, we were very sure he wasn't 2 like his paperwork...but he is very much like Judah, our 3 year old, soon to be 4 yr old. So we gave him a birthdate just after Judah's to keep Canaan Eyasu in his grade level in school, but not shake up Judah's expectation of birth order. And then we get the news that he HAS to be 4 right now...so we gave him a NEW birthdate a couple of months OLDER than Judah. Judah doesn't really care...but I selfishly wanted to get to celebrate Canaan's birthday with him soon after he came home! Anyway, it's all fine...just another of those unexpected 'things' that are typical in this convoluted process. ;-) So now we have a 7, 5, 4, 3, and a 1 year old (she'll be 2 in April).

Just tidbits for you to keep you checking in and not forgetting us!!! Keep praying for the Lord's timing in our Embassy date and for us to get a good deal on last minute tickets (it will take a miracle!).

Thank you for walking with us through this!!! Through your prayers, we are BLESSED!!

Oh and one more fun fact...we discovered that if we ever end up in Hollis again for a school year we'll have Iliana and her cousin Shelby in the same class (they were born on the exact same day) and Canaan, Judah, Blaze(cousin), and Miriam(cousin) will all be in the same class too...as will our new baby and my sis-in law's new baby Charlie (that I mentioned in a previous post)!! CRAZY, huh??? I never got to grow up around family and I think that going through school with your cousins and siblings like this would be SO fun (difficult at times too, of course) but AWESOME!!! So we'll see how all the cousins take to each other, hopefully at Christmas...it should be a riot!!

normally I don't go in for the majorly sentimental but...

2010-10-16T16:55:00.000-05:00

...I'm a complete SAP these days!

Here's a poem that one of the other waiting moms shared this week...I just wanted to keep it close so you have to endure it as well. I love my children in Addis and I cannot wait to bring them home to stay. THe waiting is difficult. I wonder what they think, now that we haven't been to visit them for a couple of days. Do they think we've forgotten them? Do they wonder if we'll be back? We asked one of the caretakers at the center to tell them as we told them goodbye the last day that we will be back for them in a few weeks. I hope they understood...but I can't see their minds...anyway...this is for my waiting children in Addis:

Kisses in the Wind (a Waiting Child's Lullaby)

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

"Congratulations...they are yours."

2010-10-13T05:42:00.000-05:00

...these are the sweetest words I've heard in a LONG time!

Because this is what the judge said at the end of our hearing. (read: brief dialog about our adoption)

She was very kind, soft spoken and efficient. We went into the waiting room at around 9:30 a.m. and we were in there with about 20 other waiting people. We were called in alphabetically by the name of the orphanage that received our children when their birth father surrendered them at the beginning of this year. We were 'B' so we went in very soon. It was very fast...maybe 5 minutes. We answered her questions about where we live and the preparations we had made to be adoptive parents and then...it was over...she stamped our papers with a flourish and said "Congratulations...they are yours." with a smile...And it was done. Just like that.

this was just after the left the judge's chambers...note the tissue in hand ;-)

just after we walked out of the building with the other families who passed as well! It was a bit windy!

In the eyes of Ethiopia, we are their legal parents...but the eyes of the US still have to be convinced.

So we wait for our US Embassy appointment assignment when we will get our children their US visas (and then we'll rush to the italian embassy praying they give us visas as well).

And so... it gives me GREAT joy to tell you that we are now officially a family of 7!!!!

We are the EXTREMELY happy parents to:

Eden Eyerusalem Joy

and Canaan Eyasu

I'm completely wiped so I'll just leave you with a couple more pictures then I need to go and snag a nap. I can't wait to fill you in on our trip and all of our time with the kids...they are a real joy!!!

Thank you all for your prayers...keep them coming for the Embassy details to be worked out...

We love you and we are VERY happy!!!!!!!!

playing outside at the care center

it took her a while to warm up to us...we had to work very diligently...such is toddler adoption...

she really loves Daddy though...

heading to Ethiopia

2010-10-08T05:52:00.000-05:00

So, Jared and I will be leaving tomorrow on a red-eye to Addis Ababa from Rome. It's a 6 hr flight that leaves Rome at 1:00 a.m.

Our friends, Dudley and Janet have graciously volunteered to come and stay with our children while we are gone, taking over parenting young ones again for a few days. They raised 5 great kids here in Italy who all live in the States now.

Will you pray for us please?

Pray for me (Rebekah) to have peace and calm in the travel, since you all know it's not my favorite thing and I struggle with being really nervous. Pray that we will rest quite a bit on the flight so that we are ready to see our kiddos and for the busy days that await us in Addis.

Pray that we have favor with the judge on Tuesday.

Pray that we will have favor with the Italian embassy and that the details for getting the children into Italy after the adoption is complete will be worked out completely.

Pray that we will have good health and safety in all the travelling.

Pray for Dudley and Janet as they care for our children.

Pray for our kids in Italy (and their parents) as we are apart for the longest we've been apart since moving to Italy.

Pray for our introduction to our kids in Addis. Pray for their hearts to be soft toward us and for bonding to start even with this visit. Pray for us all as we have to be separated after only a couple of days together. Pray protection over our children's hearts, that no damage will be done through this.

I know that's a lot. But we truly need you to cover us in your prayers. We need your intercession because we very much want this to glorify God and want to see His hand upon us in all that we do-- in the next few days especially. We cannot do this in our own strength and we need you to hold the ropes for us, so that when we are weak, your prayers will be heard on our behalf.

Thank you all. We can't WAIT to post pictures when we get back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-04T12:45:00.001-05:00

WE PASSSSSSSSSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything went smoothly! It was a terrible wait, but we PASSED! Technically we are allowed to share pictures now, but since there's still a very small chance that things might not work out, Jared feels that we should wait until we come home after our trip next week...so ...sorry...if it were up to me, I'd share NOW! Blame Jared if you are impatient.

Thank you for praying!

Keep praying for our trip and our progress through the last step!

P.S. Joy had her baby...Charlie Rio...7 pounds 9 ounces, 20 in... healthy and good-looking :-D

P.P.S. The McNees (our friends here in Rome) are still laboring but are progressing...so hopefully baby boy will be here sooooon!! We'll have a full house tonight! We love that we got the announcement that we passed court to become a family of 7 while we were practicing doing just that! ;-D

are you praying????

2010-10-04T10:31:00.000-05:00

I hope you are because we haven't heard ANYTHING yet...I'm a MESS!! I'm trying to be patient but it's not working...and then there's Jared who is cooly and calmly reading for his class, not bothered at all! ugh. The day is over in Addis (the work day, that is) and I'm stalking my email...refreshing the page over and over...I'm a little nuts.

To add to the crazy of the day, my sis-in-law is having her fourth child this morning and we haven't heard anything from the family yet...we should have heard by now for that too! and then this morning our friends who live near us called and told us they were in labor...we were so excited! We are keeping their two kiddos (4 and 2) while they are 'otherwise occupied' and we haven't heard how their labor is going either....ALL I WANT IS NEWS!!!!!!

So, if you get this, please pray...pray for Joy (my sister having the baby in Oklahoma), pray for Janelle (our friend in labor here in Rome), and pray for us...that we will hear good news soon...VERY soon!!!

delayed!...it never gets easier...

2010-09-30T08:40:00.000-05:00

So I have wanted to post new news for so long...but nothing has changed much. Then, one glorious day two weeks ago, we received a bundle of new pictures where the photographer had spent a LOT of time coaxing a smile out of our (hopefully) baby girl--and the hard work paid off in such a BEAUTIFUL way!! But I didn't think it fair to post about pictures that you can't yet see...so I stayed silent.

Today, I was hoping to sign on to be able to tell you of the news of a successful court date for the children's birth family since today, September 30th, was the date they were to appear in court to complete the placement of E and E up for adoption. But I don't get to do that either. Instead I get to tell you that we've once again been delayed...but thankfully this time it isn't months, only days :-). The courts have just recently reopened after the rainy season and they have accumulated so many cases over the break that there was not time to hear them all today--and there is only one judge hearing all of the cases...so our case has been tabled until Monday.

God has a big plan for us, for our (hopefully) kids, for our family...we trust His timing. We ask that, if you weren't already since I hadn't reminded everyone of the court date, please be praying for the results of Monday to be completely guided by the Lord. It's a difficult situation for me to know how to pray...objectively, that is. I can very selfishly pray that the kids will be ours with only a fleeting prayer for peace for the family who is giving them up...but I don't want to do that. I want so much for God to be glorified very clearly in the way this plays out and I know, from experience, that God could have a different outcome in mind for our (hopefully) kids and, also from experience, I know this will be for their best. I want that for them...I want that for all of us. So please pray as God leads you. Pray for Monday to be in His hands and for us to trust Him completely with the path of our whole family. Pray for peace for Jared and I as satan really likes to use situations and delays to bring doubt and steal our joy.

We love you guys! Can't wait for the days we can share pictures of our waiting (hopefully) children...

P.S. There's only 10 more days til we catch our flight to Addis for our own court date! Remember us as we prepare for this as well!!

2010-08-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

So just a quick update with pictures...Lil Boy E is growing hair like crazy!!! Pretty soon he'll look like his (hopefully) brother Judah!

Lil Girl E has beautiful eyes... solemn but beautiful.

COURT DATE!!!!!!!!

2010-07-22T11:50:00.000-05:00

At about 11:30 Wednesday night, we checked our email as we wrapped up our meetings in Spain and we found an email waiting for us telling us that we received our court date for October 12!!! At first I was really disappointed that it was SO much later than we had hoped, but then my grief turned to excitement that we at least had a DATE! After months of waiting to hear ANYTHING certain we finally have a date to countdown...we are thrilled!

Also, while we were in Spain, we received a new batch of pictures of our (hopefully) kiddos and they are WONDERFUL! Our (hopefully) little boy was all smiles as he has discovered the screens on the digital cameras that the parents took with them...he was making some great cheesy smiles as he looked at himself :-) Baby girl still was stoic, but beautiful and healthy!! I wish so much we could share these pictures with you all!

Thank you all so much for praying with us for our trip. It was wonderful!! We had an awesome time with our friends and the AC in Spain provided such a relief to the Rome heat with no AC! We were privileged to be there to watch and celebrate Spain taking the World Cup--an incredible experience--the Spanish are NOT afraid to be exuberant...we took the kids out into the streets to take part in the celebration and watch...it was incredibly LOUD and chaotic and so much fun!

While we were in Madrid we also found out that they have many American restaurant chains and imports and we enjoyed these to the fullest!!! :-) YES, we also did tapas, gazpacho, and churros--but we reveled in the American things that we found. TGIFridays was right next door to our second hotel and we enjoyed their menu variety and free-refills!! We also went to the major plazas, the zoo, and the Palace...but squeezed in Dominos, Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks, Taco Bell, KFC, and the aforementioned TGIFridays... most days we didn't eat lunch until 4:30 and wouldn't stop for supper until around 9:30 or 10...the sun sets SO late there and the evenings were amazingly pleasant--we lived it up!!

Our time with our good friends, the Bustrum family, was so precious...our 6 kids had a blast and the fellowship was sweet. I'll get some pictures up soon :-) If you want to see a video of Elijah during the celebration after the World Cup, go to my fb page...I linked it from youtube. He's a nut! :-)

The travel was basically uneventful--the flight to Madrid was VERY turbulent in the landing (causing Elijah to gurp in the provided sack...he has impressive aim, might I add) and as the plane touched down, it tipped severely to the side throwing us all off-balance, but the pilot righted it and we taxied to the gate applauding wildly--which then woke up a sleeping Iliana who promptly gurped all over herself, her seat, the floor and Elijah's leg. We were then the last to disembark and all of the passengers waiting to board looked at our family in loathing and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the person who has to sit in that seat--even though the cleaning crew was on the job...yuck. Our flight home was uneventful, just delayed about an hour out of Madrid...we hit the ground running when we got into town. We had a goodbye party at our house the next day for our friends, the Watts, who are moving to India...now we have settled down a bit and we are going to try and rest :-) as well as look for plane tickets to Addis for the 12th of Oct!

Pray for us to find the right tickets at a good price...and also, please pray for sleep for Jared and I...it has been so desperately hot here that sleeping has been next to impossible for us lately...we have three fans blowing on us but there is little relief...pray for our bodies to acclimate and for rest for us so we don't get sick.

I hope you are all as excited as we are for the Oct 12th date!

Thank you all for walking beside us and praying us through it all!!!

heading to Spain...

2010-07-10T04:44:00.000-05:00

So we are off to Spain tomorrow--without any news of a court date. Hopefully we will be able to find internet near where we are staying and keep up with any new news...plus Jared has this internet class he has to keep up with as well, so we'll be in touch. I probably won't be blogging though. I have my facebook linked here to this blog, hopefully you can follow status updates for news if you are checking in.

Please pray calm over our trip...that we have a long week of peace and rest and joy in the Lord and in our family and friends who we will be spending time with.

Thank you for walking with us through this tough process!!

We love you all!!

postponed...

2010-07-08T04:18:00.001-05:00

Yep, this waiting roller coaster is a big twisty one...and it's a bit longer than we thought...but we continue to ride...

Those extra documents missing did cause a slight (hopefully) delay and now we hope to hear something about dates on FRIDAY.

Please continue to pray peace over our family, especially me. I feel rather overwhelmed at the moment--our family is heading to Spain on Sunday and will be gone a little over a week...traveling stresses me out and that added stress is not needed at the moment. I'm feeling a bit anxious. Please pray for me to be able to focus on the Lord and to truly and miraculously experience His peace. Pray also that our time in Spain is a wonderfully refreshing time and that we come home stronger and ready to GO GET OUR CHILDREN!!!

Thank you all. We love you guys!

court date soon?

2010-07-03T07:40:00.001-05:00

Well, we've been informed that our file was opened in court on Thursday!! and on Friday we were asked to submit a couple more missing documents. These documents are required under the new regulations and our agency didn't think we would need them, but alas, the courts said we did. Hopefully this won't cause any delay in receiving our court assignment.

If all goes as we hope, by Wednesday we will to hear of our court date, set sometime in the next 3-6 weeks...we're, of course, hoping for 3 :-) the sooner the better!

I know this is just a short update, but that's all the info we have for the moment!

Thanks for praying us through this!

praying scripture

2010-06-27T06:58:00.001-05:00

This is the scripture that the Lord has given me for our children who are in Ethiopia...I pray this over them a lot...

The Lord will guide you always;

He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:11

this brings tears every single time...

2010-06-22T09:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I can't help but sit at the computer and click through the albums of pictures from the care centers...we have received some pictures that I treasure immeasurably. This picture is from the newest batch of pictures that our friends Neil and Autumn took for us while they were in Addis bringing home their precious baby girl. You might remember them as the couple who stopped through Rome, touring a bit on their way to Addis. They graciously offered to take a package to our waiting children and this picture is of Autumn talking to our (hopefully) son about our picture. Now, I don't know exactly what she was saying and I'm pretty sure he wasn't understanding since he speaks Amharic, but that makes no difference to me, because there she is, pointing out our picture, and specifically in this moment, MY picture... My (hopefully) son is looking at a photo of his family, his momma, for the first time... and right now I can't keep back the tears... tears of joy, tenderness, frustration, anticipation... I pray that God gives him hope through this package--hope for his coming love, acceptance, safety, care, stability, belonging...hope for his coming FAMILY.

How I long for the day that I no longer have to type "(hopefully)"!!!!

Please continue to pray for us to receive a court date soon!!!

something we've been waiting to see...

2010-06-15T11:31:00.000-05:00

I know it's a small picture but I wanted to share...yep...he can grin!!!!!

New bits and pieces...

2010-06-14T04:10:00.001-05:00

The beautiful eyes of our (hopefully) daughter. Please continue to pray for her. We have yet to see her smile in any of the pictures. She seems to have attached to one of the nannies which is very good...but she still very much needs your prayers. Please pray that she will continue to grow healthy and strong. That her heart will begin to heal, even now, and that she will find peace and comfort in this transition and in her grief...pray that the Lord will be preparing her heart for us.
This is our (hopefully) son. We caught a hint of a smile in one of the pictures, while he was coloring. He looks SOOO much better than the first pictures we received of him. He seems so much more healthy, so much better rested, and a bit less unsure of himself since the last batch of pictures. Please continue to pray for him. Pray that his heart will be softened to us already, that the Lord will comfort him in his grief and confusion, and that he will continue to grow strong and healthy.

expanding slowly in a small space...

2010-06-08T11:37:00.001-05:00

we will put a small mattress down here and some comfy pillows since we took the table and chairs out...and that lamp on the floor will be a great under-the-bed-hidey-hole reading light!!
AND we have a bench at the table so there's plenty of room for all!!!! Come on COURT DATE!!!

celebration gelato in the park...

2010-06-08T11:33:00.001-05:00

WISH YOU WERE HERE!!!

sending our love...

2010-06-08T11:32:00.001-05:00

WE WANT YOU!!!

2010-06-08T11:23:00.001-05:00

signing our referral acceptance...

out of order, blogger...go figure...

A special testimony

2010-05-30T14:44:00.000-05:00

I hope this blesses you as much as it blessed me when I watched it on a friend's blog...

just want you to know...

2010-05-28T11:12:00.001-05:00

that God really IS faithful--just in case you were having your doubts, lacking in assurance that this is true...it IS true.

As you all know, we have been waiting for a referral since February with little to no news during that time. And two nights ago (on the 25th) around 11:00pm I checked my email as we were heading to bed (like I do every night). There was a letter from Susan, our adoption consultant. I knew that it wasn't a referral because when you get a referral from our agency, they call first and send the file a bit later. But, of course, I opened the email, referral or not. Susan acknowledged our long wait (she was gracious to say that we were weathering it patiently--she's so kind in her exaggeration!), informed us that there are still no babies to refer and then said that she was attaching an informal referral she thought we might want to consider-- informal mainly because it is unlike the description of the referral we were waiting for---But, of course, we opened it...

And inside we discovered two of the sweetest children we have ever seen...a brother and a sister, ages 2 and 1...they had come to the care center at the beginning of May (thus explaining the LONG wait since February)! We were definitely taken aback at first and after reviewing the information and talking for a while, we went to bed--only I woke up at 4 unable to sleep...I prayed and prayed, looked over their file, at their sweet faces, and prayed and prayed. I was in turmoil--on the one hand I was elated and confident that these were our children...on the other hand, I was thinking about all the logistical reasons this would be 'pazzesco'(crazy)...so many thoughts (many trivial) were going through my mind in this chaotic conversation with God...

"But Lord, our car only has one extra seat! and what about how hard it is to make ends meet NOW without dipping into savings each month??" I will provide, I have proven myself so far haven't I? I will provide, I AM Jehovah-Jirah.

"Can we handle older children who have been through, and may remember, pain like we've not ever experienced?" I am the bringer of Joy in the mourning, the great Healer, I AM Jehovah-Rophe.

"Our friends will think we've lost our minds! It might alienate us here." I am with you, I AM Jehovah-Shammah.

"What about all the sickness and critters that come home with older children?" I know your children, I watch over them and you, I truly see you, I AM El Roi.

"What about the baby carrier I bought? and how in the world will we afford to travel ANYWHERE with 5 children under 8?" I will meet your needs, I am sufficient, I AM El Shaddai.

"Lord, Jared and I only have 4 hands, HOW will we even cross the street????" I am with you, I AM Immanuel.

and each time with each worrisome question, the Lord soothed me with Himself. He is so good to me, so faithful to our family. We feel so blessed--overwhelmed, but incredibly blessed.

Jared made the comment with a big grin on his face (after I was feebly asking WHAT God could be thinking in changing the 'plan' like this) that this is so like God to do this--to take a good, God-encouraged plan (adoption) and up the ante (so to speak), stretching us outside of our comfort so that we are completely depending upon Him--because up until now, we had made decisions based on what we felt we could 'handle'...isn't that embarrassing, convicting, and reassuring all at the same time? Well, it was for me at least :-) I think I'm becoming the queen of feeling at LEAST three emotions at one time lately.

So we sent in our official acceptance of the referral and hope to wire the money today as well. We are praying now, not just for our (hopefully) children living in Ethiopia, but for us to receive a court date before the rains so that we can go and get them sooner, rather than later.

I know that it can be frustrating to not get to see pictures, etc. But for legal reasons, we are not allowed to share many details like their names, birthdates, history, and NO identifying pictures until after we pass court and they are legally OURS. So have patience and pray with and for us--the sooner we pass court, the sooner you get more information :-)

Thank you for continuing to walk this journey with us...if you have questions, email me at hebrews1014@gmail.com. I can't promise I can answer them, but I'll do my best!

lots of time in between...

2010-05-11T05:14:00.000-05:00

And we are still waiting. Before we mailed out our dossier, there were tons of babies. We got emails from our agency urging us to finish up our paper work because there were so many children that some were in danger of going on the waiting children list because there were no paper-ready parents...so we scrambled, sent it all in, the papers flew over the big blue ocean and arrived to a full waiting list and no babies...and that's where we have been for 2.5 months now. To be fair, the agency estimation on referral wait times is somewhere between 3-4 months...so technically we are still 'ahead' of schedule. But it seems like we are behind, because so many people receive referrals much more quickly than this--which, I guess is why our agency warns against comparing your timeline to those of other families ahead of you in the process...good advice, impossible, but good.

Here's what we face now: With the delay in referrals possibly being another month or two, that will push us up against the rainy season in Ethiopia, which lasts for several months, somewhere from the end of August to close to December, and NO court dates or Embassy dates are assigned because everything shuts down for the rains. All of this means that we could receive a referral for baby girl in July and not be able to go and get her until December or January! (that is a teeny bit exaggerated as I can't remember the exact rainy season, but...Yikes!) Talk about hard waiting, I think it's hard to wait now and I don't even know who she is...I can't imagine how difficult it is once you have a face, a name, etc.

So please join us in praying for patience and for peace in the waiting...that we will continue to trust God in a big way with the timing of all of this. He has a wonderful plan, the perfect child for us, and it is ALL good...we want to be renewed in our trust and faith as the waiting wears us down. So please be faithful to pray for us. We need your support :-)

Thank you all.

more hiccups

2010-03-13T02:40:00.000-06:00

Ah, yes, the path of adoption is peppered with speed bumps...hiccups, if you will.

The hiccup of the moment comes in the form of government re-evaluation of their country's adoption program, laws, process, and US investigation of the 70-something agencies that adopt out of Ethiopia. Our agency was the first to pass investigation thankfully, but it has, nevertheless, made things go more slowly. All of this will also be changing the process (mainly with the visas) and requirements for adoptive parents (all adoptive parents may be required to travel twice), we are not sure how many of the changes will directly effect us, but since we have yet to receive a referral, we may face the bulk of these as we may not be far enough along in the process to squeak by unaffected. We are fortunate, though because most countries, when facing major overhaul such as this, will completely halt the entire program while they work things out...that could take years. So we are thankful that this has not been the case and there is even a rumor floating around that the Ethiopia government is going to lobby the courts to put all of this off for a year...we will see...there are tons of rumors out there right now.

So that's the latest explanation of why you haven't heard much from me lately...Sorry about that. We wait and we watch the emails and we pray.

Thanks.

Dossier IN Ethiopia

2010-02-27T02:57:00.000-06:00

Yep, you read that right...the dossier has reached the other side of the ocean and is where it is supposed to be in Ethiopia!

Now we just sit back (HA!) and wait patiently (double HA!).

Our waiting brings both feelings of joy as well as an inspired urgency to be on our knees for our baby girl.

Joy from the obvious freedom from the paper-trail, knowing that things in that area have settled into place!

We were not contacted immediately with a referral because, most likely she is not at the care center yet...which means she has not been found, turned over, or whatever the case might be... so please pray for her as she indures whatever her situation is...pray for her health and for her safety and for her to feel God's protective arms wrapped around her...pray that God will already be working in her heart, preparing her for us but ultimately preparing her for Him!

Sorry I don't have more news...but little by little!!

The dossier is ON ITS WAY!!!

2010-02-19T14:17:00.001-06:00

That's right, we got the word today from Susan (our consultant) that our dossier has been completed and shipped to Ethiopia!!!!!

We are BEYOND thrilled!!

We know that there are difficulties to come and loads more waiting times, but to have this massive portion of paperwork complete is amazing and relieving! I always wondered if we would truly be able to build a complete dossier while living overseas, and I am so very thankful to the Lord for working it all out!

So what's next? I'm not quite sure exactly, but I think we wait for a referral now. So, with that in mind, I would like to give you a new list of ways you could pray for us:

This settling on a referral process is horribly daunting. It looks to me like 'choosing' your child...and I SO do not want it to be like that. So I'm asking you to pray that the Lord gives us both overwhelming assurance and peace when we encounter our referral-- peace that drives all doubt and fear out of our minds. That we would have wisdom to know the correct questions to ask about the information given on the child and that He would direct us to a good doctor to review their file.

Please ask that we be presented with the perfect child for our family.

Pray for her health and safety--it could be months before we receive any information on her so it could be that she has not made it to the care center yet...pray for her.

Pray for us as waiting parents--bind satan from attacking us with doubt and fear of inadequacy--pray for our family's continued unity. Pray for patience for all of us.

Thank you for holding the ropes for us!

Little by little

2010-02-15T08:47:00.000-06:00

So, I got an email this afternoon from our adoption consultant telling us that they have received all the documents from Italy and we are just waiting on the letter that has been mailed from Oklahoma to get to the office in GA. Hopefully we will have a completed dossier VERY soon!!!!!!

Thank you for your continued prayers!

obsessing...

2010-02-10T10:14:00.001-06:00

So I've gone from, two months ago, being on a kind of internet 'fast' to checking the computer every hour...it's insane.

I cannot handle the waiting--I must say that this is WAY harder than pregnancy (and pregnancy was not a walk in the park for me). At least in prenatal waiting you get monthly progress reports from your doctor, you know that your body is doing it's job, that you can eat right and exercise and do things to 'maintain' the pace of the process and at the end of nine months, give or take a week or so you will have a baby--the baby that God was growing in you all along, the baby that you talked to over and over while you waited, the baby that you were able to keep safe from harm and well-fed.

This waiting, on the other hand, is torture. You feel forgotten by your agency at times (even though it's not true, they are doing their job wonderfully and appropriately), there are no monthly updates, no set timelines, you are at the mercy of circumstances like slow postal service and bureaucracy and long lines and the waiting list... But I think the worst part of this whole process is not knowing our baby, I don't know who she is, I don't know where she is, I don't know if she is hungry or cold or sad...And there is truly NOTHING I can do about any of it.

I am so very grateful to have a strong, loving, all-seeing God Who KNOWS...it doesn't take much of the sting out of not knowing these things for myself--but it calms my anxious heart to know and rest in the fact that God DOES know and He IS caring for her--just as He cared for my other children in my womb, He cares for her...He formed each of them in precisely the way He intended--something that, I have to admit, I had absolutely nothing to do with. It's more difficult to be so very hands-off, but it's wonderful to have the chance to praise God for His sovereignty--that He is and will continue to orchestrate all of this for His glory... That He is taking care of her needs, orchestrating all circumstances to connect our paths--intertwining our lives so that we will, eventually, be together as a family. I couldn't ask for anything more.

But continue to pray us through this process. We have had no news of late, and our time-line is stretching longer and longer...a time-line that God is in control of...I know. Please pray.

Support Ethiopian Adoption!

2010-02-02T03:38:00.000-06:00

Hello all! No new news. Sorry.

But in the meantime, I'd like to share another opportunity for you to support Ethiopian adoption! One of my best friends, Jennifer, and her husband (and son) are currently in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia as well! The Holberts have a fund raiser going on where you can buy T-shirts that promote Ethiopian adoption and the profits from these sales go toward their personal adoption! Please consider supporting her family AND by wearing the T-shirts you may get the opportunity to share with others about the nearly 4 million orphaned children in Ethiopia and their great need for love and family.

Here is the link:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/jenholbert?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=App_Seller&utm_content=shops&utm_campaign=fb_seller_shop

Thank you all!

Documents are out of our hands now!

2010-01-25T07:04:00.000-06:00

That's right! Jared was able to pick up AND mail the translations this morning! So they are now on their way to GA. I haven't received any word that GA has received the documents I mailed 2 weeks ago, so we could be in for a very long wait still as our little letters truck their way across the big blue ocean. But at least we are finished (we hope) chasing down and procuring documents.

Please pray that our dossier is completed in record time and that we have referrals start coming in February.

We are ready to see our baby girl's face!

Standing in the Gap

2010-01-21T05:58:00.000-06:00

We don't know these people, they are friends of some friends of ours...but I've been riveted following their blog. They are working with an organization like ours, but different. Their family has been living and working in Port au Prince, Haiti for a while-- they were, of course, there during the earthquake. By the grace of God, they are able to find a snippet of time during their day to post as they do all they can to help in the chaos and tragedy and devastation. I'm pretty sure that one of the only reasons they bother with posting on their blog is to remain connected with people who will pray and hold the ropes for them...so please read it, and stand in this vast gap for them and for the people they are in contact with. Thanks.

http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/

what's new?

2010-01-18T04:44:00.000-06:00

So I know, I know, I said I would try to be better. I really stink at this consistency thing. Sorry guys! I know it's frustrating. We've had an interesting Christmas season and things are just now starting to get back to normal.

To update you all, we are still on the paper trail. We really thought we would be finished before now, but we ran into some snags with needing some documents translated and a couple of other things so we are still working on getting our dossier completed. I am hopeful that we will have it complete by the end of the month though. Jared is out this morning trying to get the documents translated and we have received our missing employment letters and I have been assured that the final reference letter will be sent in soon--so hopefully by the end of the month we will have all of our documents ready!! Will you all pray with us for this?

I'm starting to compile lists of things that we need to buy when the time comes--it's kind of fun to shop online for swaddling blankets and baby carriers and bags--I've had a good time! Of course I'm just window shopping right now-- when I have to think about the money it won't be quite as fun :-)

Also, we are running into timing issues as our time frame gets extended. We have teams lined up to come and work with us in June and we need to be settled back in Rome before that time. This means that we would really love to be finished traveling before the end of May. For those of you familiar with the waiting times for medical and court dates, etc. you know what an impossible request this is. We are confident that our God is in control of our timeline, teams, travel, etc. He knows what is best. We want the perfect timing even if it's not what we think is best--but please join us in praying that God will work things out miraculously!!

Continue to pray for our daughter! She has probably entered the world and I have been really burdened to pray for her health and safety. Please join us in this!

Okay, these pictures have nothing to with our adoption, but just for fun, here you go!

Our kids at Christmas

Judah after opening his birthday presents--roaring like a dinosaur!

Blowing out his birthday candles--he is 3 now!

Elijah with his big birthday cookie!

Waiting for all of his friends to get to the party--playing calcietto!

They all sang 'Happy Birthday"--we were prepared with "Tanti Auguri" but they thought it was fun to sing it in english!

They really know how to do birthday candles here!

So, it's been a while...

2009-12-11T04:24:00.000-06:00

since the last post. I know. I kept waiting until I had something interesting to write about and have now realized the only thing that does is alienate those who are trying to walk through this with us from a distance. I'm sorry. We've hit a waiting time earlier than I thought...and it's, unfortunately, not a productive waiting time. It's not as if we are waiting on a referral, or for a court date, or for travel plans to be cleared up...we are waiting on emails and government offices and the postal service--just to finish our dossier. That's right. It's been this long and we are STILL not paper-ready.

The good news is that we are closer. We have every document completed except the employment letter and that, hopefully will be completed and emailed by next week. The next step for us is to send our home study to USCIS here in Rome, and mail all of our original documents to Georgia for the final compilation of our dossier. So today, Friday the 11th, will be devoted to printing out, signing, and addressing all of the mail that needs to go out and hopefully Monday we can get it all in the mail (that is, if we receive the employment letters by then). After this step, we don't know what's next. The dossier has many steps to go before we are cleared to wait for a referral...as far as we know right now, it has to be approved by two offices in the States and then submitted for translation, before it will be approved by Ethiopia. We are still so vague on the details. I know by the end of this we will be experts...

Thanks for checking back in. I'm not sure I will be great at updating when I have nothing to say, but I will try. And hopefully, very soon, we WILL have things to say :-). Be sure to keep praying for our daughter, we don't know her, but most likely she's been born or is soon to be...

I-600A...check!!

2009-09-23T08:29:00.000-05:00

So, we right after taking the kids to school this morning, we headed out to catch the trenino into the center. We knew the trains would be packed and they were. Fortunately, Judah still fits in the sling, so that's good news. We got to the Embassy at the appointed time...thankfully we weren't late--they are sticklers for that kind of thing. And thanks to some great advice from friends who had done the Embassy thing a couple of weeks before, we packed light and made it through security without a hitch. It took us an hour and a half or so to get all the fingerprints and papers filed...but they are FILED! That's one less thing that we have to do. All that is left on our list are the medical letters and Italian police clearance. We're working on figuring out how to get those completed.

Thank you for praying for things to go smoothly today--they couldn't have been better! We were back in our neighborhood by 12:15pm...CRAZY! We appreciate you all for how you support us with your prayers....I don't think we waited longer than 5 minutes for ANY train today (and we were on 6)...totally God! Praise Him with us!

Home Study Interview is Finished!

2009-09-21T02:57:00.001-05:00

So we've checked off the toughest part of our home study completion--the interview! Our social worker was super sweet and very relaxed and laid back so there was no pressure or awkwardness. Jared met her without a hitch at the airport and things got underway on time and we finished on schedule and she was back to the airport in plenty of time to catch her flight home to Germany.

So that's huge relief. She has already been working on the draft so she figured that once the police clearances come in and she's able to add them to the report, we should have our completed home study in a couple of weeks.

Please join us in praying for the paperwork to be collected speedily--we've mailed our police clearance form to OK from Rome and then they will mail the clearance to Jared's parents' house in Hollis and then Jared's parents will then turn around and mail the clearances on to GA to our agency and they will fax them to our Social worker in Germany...so there are a LOT of steps that could easily get bogged down and add more time onto the waiting. So please pray against hang-ups.

When the Home Study is completed we will be finished with the first of three big steps in the adoption paper trail. The next step is to pass the USCIS approval...we go to the Embassy here in Rome on Wednesday morning at 10. Please pray that we are able to get in and out of the offices very quickly because it takes about an hour to travel there and we HAVE to pick our kids up by 2pm from school. Once our Home Study is completed, it will be submitted to USCIS and they, hopefully, will approve it quickly and then it can be added to the dossier. We're hoping to have a completed dossier by the end of October...we'll see!!

Thank you all for being faithful to pray for us on this journey...we are one step closer!!

the preparations are underway...

2009-09-19T03:14:00.000-05:00

So, we are gearing up for a crazy day of cleaning and organizing so we can fully make room for that sweet girl who is closer to being ours.

Our social worker flies in tomorrow at noon and we'll spend a whirlwind 4 hours in interviews and paperwork shuffling an then she flies back to Germany at 7pm.

We've got great help offered from Taylor and Heidi who have volunteer to spend the day with our kids thankfully so that, hopefully, things can go more smoothly.

Please pray for us tomorrow. Pray that we will have quiet and peaceful hearts and that our minds are clear, enabling us to be articulate and genuine.

Thank you all.

just thought this was neat

2009-09-02T13:53:00.001-05:00

I have been amazed at how many things are catching my eye now--always adoption related...is it just me or does this seem to be a growing subject in the media and Hollywood?

Happy Birthday!!

2009-08-31T02:57:00.001-05:00

I know that some of you saw the photos on Facebook but I wanted to post them here too :-)

On my birthday (Saturday) the kids and Jared took me to an Ethiopia restaurant here in Rome...actually it's Ethiopian/Eritrean.

When we got there we asked our waitress if she could recommend a traditional Ethiopian dish for our family. She picked out the same dish but with two degrees of spiciness, a mild one for the kids and a more spicy one for the adults. She warned us that Ethiopian food was "hand-eating" food. (and then about halfway into the meal she brought forks--Iliana and Judah were excited about that--I really thought they would get a kick out of eating with their hands!)

The flat bread was a little more sourdoughy than I had expected and the food was WAY more delicious than I had expected...it was SO good!

Elijah really liked it,

Jared was sold on it, Iliana and Judah (and Elijah, of course) were ecstatic when our waitress brought a surprise plate of french fries toward the end of the meal...We really enjoyed our experience! I've looked up a couple of general recipe sites so that I can get a feel for ingredients in Ethiopian food...but I haven't settled on a recipe that I will be able to:

1. FIND all of the ingredients here
2. reproduce without help

Check them out! http://www.recipezaar.com/recipes/ethiopian and http://ethiopianrecipes.net/ and http://www.ethiopianrestaurant.com/recipes.html

ENJOY!!!

just 'cause

2009-08-26T11:29:00.000-05:00

So we had a little celebration for the home study date being set...they didn't know it, but Heidi and Taylor came over last night to help us celebrate :-) ...and we ate mexican and cheesecake (and the prototypes for Iliana's birthday cheesecake pops) and were festive :-).

Today we went to the beach and generally frolicked...then crashed for naps after lunch. I keep trying to picture our life with one more...at the beach, as I was putting sunscreen on my little pale kids, I kept getting this picture in my mind of dark, chubby little arms and legs streaked with the lotion, and me, being able to tell when the lotion isn't quite rubbed in because of the obvious streaks left on the chocolate skin...I know it's not profound or anything but it made me teary, happy--and impatient.

We wait...God sustains us with little glimpses of her sweetness--reminding us to pray for our sweet baby girl...please don't forget to do the same...

Home study date set!

2009-08-25T04:37:00.000-05:00

In a little under a month, our social worker will fly into Rome and spend all day with us interviewing us and the kids, looking over our home and neighborhood, etc. She will come on Sunday, September 20th. So please be praying for us--that we will be able to represent ourselves and not be nervous... That the kids are able to be articulate when they need to be... That the kids will behave and not distract while the interview is going on.

We are very excited!!

Medical forms...check!

2009-08-21T04:22:00.000-05:00

So we both finally got our medical forms completed. Now we are trying to figure out how to get our police clearance and child abuse clearance...hoping to hear about those soon. I'm ordering a couple of cloth diapers this week to try them out and we've applied for a diaper grant...it will be many weeks before we find out about that--but it would be great if we got it!

We've found an Ethiopian restaurant in the center of the city so we are hoping to try it out really soon!

Short, but sweet...just a quick update--we're slowly moving along!

We finished it!

2009-08-17T13:36:00.000-05:00

Not everything OF COURSE! But we finished the home study questionnaire and collected many documents and scanned them all to email them...I'm now working on how to get our criminal checks and child abuse checks done...then it's on to fingerprinting, etc. Neverending!!

It also looks like Jared and I will probably have to take a pre-adoption trip to Ethiopia. We were hoping to avoid this given the difficulty with child care, but the visa that would allow us to return to Italy within 30 days time with our daughter as an AMERICAN citizen and not an ETHIOPIAN citizen requires that we spend time with our child BEFORE the adoption actually takes place. I don't know when or how, but we need to do all that we can to secure this type of visa for her or we are looking at a very lengthy re-adoption process in the States.

It's all very involved and rather confusing. I love our social worker and coordinator...these women never complain at my inbox-filling ways.

Please be praying that details will fall into place with this second-trip-thing.

It's HERE

2009-08-14T11:42:00.001-05:00

That's right, the Big Binder has arrived. I devoured it last night...then felt nauseous and ate a brownie to calm my nerves. If we hadn't realized it already, it was crystal clear last night: We Are Embarking On Something HUGE!!!

And, while a number of questions were answered by the BB, a bajillion more sprouted in amongst the pages. And our beautiful plans I shared in the last post...well, I'm not sure about ANYTHING anymore. I'm having SO much trouble wrapping my mind around all that needs to be done when we come back to the States. This is one of the many places I am so very thankful for our adoption coordinator. She is extremely helpful with all of these questions and never complains when I write her one email and then turn around and have to send her at least one more with questions I forgot to mention in the first.

I think my favorite parts of the binder were the pages that outlined in detail all that we would be doing in Addis Ababa when we go, and all of the packing lists for the trip.

Jared and I even went to IKEA to do a little crib-scouting and baby planning--that was WAY fun!

So, to sum up, we got the Big Binder, ate a brownie, answered questions, thought of questions, dreamed of Addis, and scouted for baby things...not too eventful, but a definite update!

P.S. There may be an opportunity for you to help during this process besides, of course, your prayers for us and baby girl. We will be collecting items to take to the care center in Addis and leave with them. Things like Infant tylenol, Mylicon drops, socks, shoes, blankets, bibs, etc. A lot of this we cannot get easily here, so we may be asking, if those of you in Hollis are so inclined, to collect a small duffle-bag full of things that we can take with us--then whomever comes to get our kiddos to take them to the US ahead of us, will bring us the bag and we'll take it on to Addis.

P.P.S Nothing is for sure in ANY travel plans...so the previous opportunity hinges on whether or not someone from Hollis will actually be coming to Rome before we go to Ethiopia. Please don't go out and start this project now. We have many, many months of waiting still. I was just greasing wheels by mentioning it :-)

Still working on it...

2009-08-12T04:00:00.001-05:00

I just can't believe how extensive the home study application/questionaire is! We are reviewing in detail our personal history, finances, discipline methods, etc...it seems endless!! All-in-all I think it's around 30 pages of forms!

So we are wading through this...hoping that this is the most extensive part of our application process--but we are probably fooling ourselves. All the government forms are yet to come--then there will be Embassy visits, government office lines, extensive correspondence with the States...yikes...I'm just going to turn my eyes back to the home study--that seems to be the most do-able right now.

We had a great time in Germany, but inevitably brought home a grouping of bugs we caught. It seems we are always dealing with small, strange sickness. So, as this again works through our family, we are using this in-house time to do as much as we can on our Process.

It's been good for Jared and I to sit down, once-again, and really review our parenting philosophies and discipline methods, our relationship with each other, our relationship with our kids, and our motivation to adopt. As I've been going through all of our insurance information and benefits with our company I have been encouraged and so thankful at the way we are taken care of--we've even found that we have adoption leave in the amount of 30 days--this is an extreme blessing, since we are looking at taking a massive trip in a few months!

That is something else that has changed as we've been reviewing what this is actually going to look like. We had initially thought that Jared and I could go to Ethiopia when it's time, leaving the kids with friends for the 5-7 day trip and then bring our daughter home to Rome before taking the big trip to the States 6 months later for citizenship proceedings. But now, we've found out that Italy has been known to turn children away on temporary visas because their citizenship is incomplete. You must be on American soil to complete the citizenship process and while we have up to 6 months to get this done according to US regulations, Italy does not always recognize this grace-period. So now we are looking at two scenarios: the first is to take the whole family to Ethiopia as well as, hopefully, a helper to watch the children while we are at our important meeting at the Embassy, and then going straight from Ethiopia to the US. The second scenario is, with the help of a 3rd party, we will send our older three on to the States from Rome while Jared and I head to Ethiopia alone, spend the 5-7 days collecting our baby and figuring out the legal matters and then go from Ethiopia to the States, stop in DC to obtain citizenship for 24 hrs and meet up with the rest of our family in OKC.

Both scenarios seem extremely difficult so begin praying for us now please...that God would orchestrate all the details and flights and people and money for this crazy event that will hopefully happen in 6-9 months!

Application has been received!

2009-07-28T13:57:00.000-05:00

We just got an email from our agency saying that our application has been received and, I'm assuming, intact. It is now in process and they are sending the BIG SCARY BINDER--I always think of it in caps, don't know why, it just always carries this forboding with it...I guess all the paperwork and bajillion steps that are within lend themselves to the caps.

So we will wait for the BIG BINDER and follow the steps that are laid out in it...eek!

I've been talking with our home study company and, while we haven't set the date just yet, we are working on it!

We'll be gone to Germany from Aug. 1-7 so we'll have to pick up all of this when we get back (although we are thinking about lugging the laptop just in case we have a chance to finish the home study application in the evenings :-) )

Thank you for continuing to pray!!

a little more information...

2009-07-24T04:44:00.000-05:00

So we don't really have any new news, of course--the application hasn't even crossed the ocean yet probably. But I thought I'd give you a rundown of who we are seeking at this point so you can better pray.

On the application we have noted that we are seeking a baby girl, from Ethiopia. At this time we haven't asked for any more than one child, but if the opportunity presents itself we are prepared :-)

Since we have asked for a baby and we are so early in this long, long process, she probably hasn't even been born yet. Maybe, but probably not--although she may be in utero at this time, so you can join us in praying for her birth mother and for baby girl's development in the womb.

Also, I have begun my study of Ethiopia...I found the Wikipedia article succinct enough to pass on to ya'll ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopia ) ...and did you know that people claim that Ethiopia was the birthplace of coffee??

...And I also didn't realize that the land of Cush is widely accepted to be Ethiopia...which is mentioned for the first time in Chapter 2 of Genesis when it is listing the 4 rivers that flowed from Eden. I love that! I thought I was living in an ancient city...and then I come across Ethiopia...WOW!!

Since the Lord brought us to Rome, I have loved all references to this city in the Bible...and now my heart is being drawn also toward Ethiopia, the birthplace of our fourth child and I find myself even more thankful for Phillip and his willingness to take the gospel to the Ethiopian eunuch...this is how the gospel was first brought to Ethiopia!

2009-07-22T07:23:00.000-05:00

So here we are, at the very beginning...again. We are finally starting the process...the long, intense process of adopting a child.

Our hearts have been yearning for this for so many years and this morning, Jared had the privilege of actually dropping our application, along with the sizable--non-refundable check into the Italian post office box. We pray that it reaches the States...in one piece.

Please walk this journey alongside of us. We are full of anticipation for the time (~year?!?) ahead of us. We will use this blog to specifically walk through the process with you, our friends and family--you all have been so faithful to support us with your prayers and encouragement in our ministry--please continue to pray for this part of our life as well!!

We love you all!!